Honesty · 20. July 2022

When we speak about honesty, especially in relationship, we often speak about lies. Big lies, small lies and how they affect the relationship. Over the past months the term Honesty has begun to take on new meaning for me. My mentor, Dr. Thomas Needham refers to the "journey of honesty" in therapy. What does that mean? Often in therapy, clients come in for a particular symptom in need of relief and when they stick around long enough, they discover that the original problem was not the actual...

The Pain of Growth · 05. July 2022

As I began to experience my feelings, I began to experience the shame because the two were inextricably linked for me. Shame pushed me away from the ones that really cared for me, that actually loved me.

Choosing What Matters · 26. January 2022

"I was gonna say, The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it. You know how hard that is, Lily? I love May, but it was still so hard to choose Caribbean Pink. The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters." Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees This time of year as a therapist is perhaps one of the busiest. There is something about the holidays that bring a lot of issues to the surface that people finally decide to tackle. I suspect that the holidays bring us face to...

Masculinity · 18. July 2021

While playing football, the parts of me that longed for significance had to make sure that other parts of me never saw the light of day. Later in life I eventually learned to value my previously shunned vulnerable parts far more than the tough, rugged parts.

Forgiveness and Understanding · 14. May 2021

“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.” ― Desmond Tutu

Unburdening · 18. April 2021

A quote that I recently read stated, "When you make a list of things that you love, how long does it take for you to list yourself?" There is nothing that gives me more joy in the therapist office that to have clients share how they feel lighter, easy, and have more room to breath among other similar statements.

Disappointment · 28. March 2021

"To be known or recognized is to immediately experience the other's power. The other becomes the one who can give or withhold recognition: who can see what is hidden; who can reach, conceivably even violate, the core of the self" Jessica Benjamin

Transformation · 27. March 2021

“You have to give thanks for everything because we’re too dumb to tell the blessings from the curses” anonymous Rabbi

Relationships · 28. February 2021

"What was once damaged in relationship, must be healed in relationship." John Townsend

Personality · 17. February 2021

The goal of therapy is in part helping that little child resolve the need to protect and defend the self for a sense of safety.