I enter into this topic with reserve and energized curiosity. So much of therapy and counseling revolve around personality. The self is often debated and I find it a difficult thing to grasp at times. This is one of those times where I desperately need a visual to help me understand. Much has been made in the entertainment industry with the fascination of Multiple Personality Disorder, now referred to as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). When thinking of MPD, I recall the movie Primal Fear with Richard Gere as the lawyer who is totally thrown for a loop by Edward Norton, pretending to have multiple-personalities to get out of prison to continue inflicting his pain on others.
DID, as it is now referred to, is in fact not conceived of as being more than one (multiple) personality, but actually less than one whole personality. The photo I use here helps me formulate the personality inside of big 3-D sphere. Another image that comes to mind is of outdoor above-ground swimming pools all crammed together inside a backyard fence. Each part of is separated by a thin semi-permeable membrane. When healthy, the water moves relatively freely between the pools. However, when we have experienced trauma, both "little T" and "big T" traumas, anything from falling off our bike and breaking an arm, neglect or control of a caregiver, physical or sexual abuse, to the loss of relationships, parts of our personality need to harden to ensure our safety and survival. Think of these parts as our protectors. For example, the part of our personality seeking control. Without a sense of control a child would not have been able to feel safe and secure with all that what was happening to them and around them. That control shows itself through problem solving, intellectualization, anger, substance abuse, sexualization, or a host of other protective measures that help us feel that we are in control.
It is in fact these very protective measures which served us well in childhood that become the root of various conflicts in our adult lives. The goal of therapy is in part helping that little child resolve the need to protect and defend the self for a sense of safety. One way to start that process in therapy is by acknowledging and thanking our protectors. As you can imagine, this is a challenging process because it is most often the protectors we are either unaware of, or in most cases ashamed of.
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