Throughout the past year, death has been at the forefront of our existence. Death has been personal for me as I saw my grandfather, the closest extended relative of my life, pass away in 2020 at the age of 94. Death has also affected many of my friends and family members, especially during the times of this pandemic. Just recently, I think of two personalities from my childhood that passed away this past week, Larry King and Hank Aaron. I knew neither of them personally, but nonetheless they each meant something to me. I took time this week to reflect on their lives and the imprint each of them made. I recall while traveling with my parents as a young boy, seeing Hank Aaron at a gas station off the interstate in Alabama. Aaron was a native of Mobile, Alabama. He was the past hero of my favorite baseball team, The Atlanta Braves. One of baseball's most iconic moments is Aaron's 755th home-run that overtook Babe Ruth for the most home-runs in the history of professional baseball. Fans were mobbing him as he circled the bases. I was too young to understand the cultural significance of an African-American man setting this record. However, as I aged the thing that I appreciated most about Henry Aaron, was his sense of humility and gentleness. Despite the immense strain of racism he experienced, Aaron seemed undeterred in kindness towards others.
As for Larry King, the impression is more nuanced. While both of these figures practiced their profession for at least part of their career in Atlanta, the two were quite different. I was drawn to King's television show that interviewed celebrities, politicians, and every kind of figure you can imagine. I cannot say he was a role model the way Hank Aaron was, but his style with which he interviewed others attracted me. Larry was inquisitive, often accused of offering "softball" questions to his guests and notorious for the way he prepared or didn't prepare for his guests. King did not read copious amounts of literature or spend long hours on biographies, but he did read summaries. It seems this approach more or less left him much like his audience, leading him to ask questions that his audience members may have asked. This is perhaps always why his television show allowed call in viewers from around the country. I can recall being feeling a strong desire to call into the show from time to time to a ask question or share an opinion with a guest. I never did, but certainly this approach left an impression on me. As the response to his death illustrates, King left a warm impression or feeling with everyone, which may be surprising knowing that in 2019, he finalized his 7th and final divorce. For as much calmness and fluidity that he showed on the air, there were certainly tensions in his personal life.
Perhaps it is due to my age or stage of life, but I am certainly thinking more about the brevity of my existence on this earth. The importance of relationships, authenticity, and vulnerability. It is why, after 40 years of age, I decided to return to school and study psychotherapy. I hope that in some way, like Aaron, I am growing in humility as I age, and like King, I never lose the curiosity that makes life fascinating. In a way to summarize, I want to rid myself of the fear of dying by opening myself up to all there is to offer in life, the good and the bad, the joy and the pain, the successes and the failures, as well as the "simplicities". No amount of failure erases the good we can bring to others and ourselves. It is in fact often the acceptance of our failures and limitations, that allows us round the bases with as much grace as Hank Aaron.
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